“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. '” — Jeremiah 29:11
May 2022 – On the pregnancy test was this word ”pregnant” It was the most shocking, not expected, blessed day so far. From May to October I have experienced what it means to grow a baby inside you, new life given by God to us. At the beginning of my first trimester I felt sick and tired, and all the condiments from the cupboard had to be chucked aways, the smell was too strong for me. Today The second trimester was the best so far, it’s true that I became a foodie but I am proud to have self-control over it. I remember when I first felt my baby’s movement, such an amazing feeling that only a Mom can describe. We are thankful for a healthy, very active baby in my womb. As I just entered my last trimester, we are excited to meet our little munchkin in 2 months time.
The quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people, plans, or the future.
Without confidence, we can’t do things like committing to something, sticking to our decisions, and taking calculated risks. You can’t work well if you keep second-guessing your actions. (William James) “Father of American psychology”
Being confident in all areas of your life is the key that opens many doors. Unfortunately, not many of us are aces when it comes to confidence, but the most important is to practice it every day. Be confident, smart, humble, open-minded.
Self-confidence in child development
They feel confident and secure, they’re more likely to succeed in school and achieve personal goals. As they get older, they learn to confront problems and resist peer pressure. More important, having a positive self-image helps a child feel happy and capable of maintaining personal relationships. Keep up the good work, parents!
Just as adults get stressed, so do young children. However, they may not have the coping strategies yet to handle it. Children may display stress through mood swings, difficulty sleeping, bedwetting or displaying signs of feeling physically unwell such as tummy aches. They may also change their behaviour and habits, becoming more clingy or sucking their thumb.
When you see signs that your child is stressed, it is important to communicate with them on what may be the source of the problem. Firstly, identify the triggers, then help them to build a strategy towards overcoming the issue. Let them know that it is okay to be anxious or upset, and help provide vocabulary for what they are facing as well as calming techniques. I reccomend you to use pep cards.
2. Make Time for Play/ have fun with your child/ren
Routines are a source of comfort for children, so help build and maintain routines that you can adhere to consistently. Knowing what to expect helps children to feel secure and loved, whilst reinforcing good behaviour and developing positive habits such as washing hands or brushing teeth. It also removes anxieties surrounding the unknown or change.
3. Healthy food/habits
A nutritious and balanced diet and regular exercise are essential in maintaining your child’s physical and mental health. Introducing good eating habits when they are young will continue as they grow older, and ensures that they have had the proper fuel to support their development.
4. Develop Self-esteem
For older children in particular, issues such as popularity may impact their wellbeing and stress levels. Therefore, it is important to help them develop self-confidence, so that they can handle change and uncertainty with ease. Make sure to praise your child, celebrating their success and progress. In addition, help them understand that failure is inevitable and often beneficial, as it can help understand what to improve.
Humility is the quality of being humble. Being humble is the opposite of being proud!
Children need to know that achievements, social status, and abilities are not what give them worth.
What is even sadder is that children are being targeted by the pride monster. Social pressure is killing them. Constantly they have to promote themselves on social media and keep comparing themselves with their peers.
Humble children understand that all children have the same inherent worth as themselves. Help your children develop humility by:
Spending time together, be an example for them, show humility
Spend time outdoors
Teach a growth mindset
Encourage relationship with the people in their life
Talking about tough topics with their child/ren looks like a difficult job for some parents. They prefer not to discuss and keep it secret or delay in discussing tough themes with children. Depending on the topic, some parents believe it’s for child’s good not to know about different topics.
Tough topics include death, illness, divorce, adoption, sex.
Depending on the child’s age there are different approaches to talk. At every age, children have different questions, they are curious about the world around them, so why shouldn’t we answer them?
You know the famous children’s questions, ”where do babies come from”? My parents used to say that babies are brought by storks. So, every time seeing a stork, I wonder which new family received the baby that day, or I will look at the bird and ask myself ”where is the baby”? Such a lie and a crazy way of explaining the meaning of a new life.
There are a lot of wonderful and inteligent ways of explaining to your 5 years old child where do babies come from. Explain them with the right words, do not give them false information!
If you can’t talk about a topic then let others do it. But it doesn’t mean that children are not capable of knowing or understanding. Do not keep it secret until you finalise the divorce and then let them know, they will feel lied to, betrayed.
Tough topics were asked one by you, me and other adults. Give the right answer and always provide the right support for your child/ren
Do you let your children express their feelings, or you ask them not to cry and go to their room?
Are you supporting the child to express those feelings, emphasise with an angry, frustrated, happy, sad child?
”If we were told from the beginning that childhood defines adult mental health, we would take care to be more loving of a child’s soul”.
I think most of our parents would relate to this sentence.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to be smart about managing your emotions.
E.I describes someone’s ability to express his or her emotions appropriately, to correctly interpret other people’s emotions, and to understand the triggers and outcomes of certain emotions.
From the age of two, your child should be able to show affection, you might see three years old comforting an upset child, they five hugs or a toy. They are capable of understanding the feeling of others. There are thousands of ideas on how to teach your child about emotions ( use cards, be a role model, and other technics like “bubble breaths”).
Imagine you are a 5 y.o and you playing with Legos, building a house, and someone comes and is destroying your work, what do you do next as a child?
But what would a parent that knows the importance of E.I in early childhood? Most probably will come to you and let you communicate your feelings, talk with you about understanding others, compassion, and support you in building the new house of Legos
Attachment is one specific aspect of the relationship between a child and a parent where the child should feel safe, secure, protected. Children first form attachments to their primary caregivers in infancy but continue to need attachment figures across childhood and adolescence. Parents who do a good job of listening to their child, create more confident children, who will openly vocalize their needs. The attachment theory describes very well the connection between a child and the parents or their careers.
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Children must be taught how to think, not what to think. ― Margaret Mead
Self-esteem is feeling proud, resilient, good, happy about yourself. Children usually absorb the level of self-esteem from their parents, as the parents are the mirror for them.
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Praise – is very important to be eyes and ears in what and how your child is doing and always communicate with the child, tell them you appreciate their hard work after an exam had the place, tell them that the result doesn’t matter as you know they did a great job. Or you have noticed a good change in their behaviour, he/she does the washing up, why not praising (try not to be fake).
2. Give compliments – Especially with young people is a bit of a tricky situation because once they start school, their social life is expanding and they might take in consideration some wrong opinions or bad role models. Giving compliments from an early age is the key to boost their confidence in themselves. Remind them how beautiful, special and unique they are. You can play a game with them by asking to give 2 compliments to you and you will share the compliments too.
Build positive relationships with your children – work might be tiring for you, you feel like you are drained after hard work and you come home and the child is asking you to play together. What do you do?
Well, if your answer is: Sorry baby, I am tired.
Or: Sure, let’s say what you are doing here, have you done this lego tower today? I am a bit tired from work, but I will play with you for 10 minutes. The child can understand you and you just build a positive relationship with the child.
Respect your child’s feelings by listening and talking with them.
3. Unconditional love – Just knowing that you love and support them, will increase their self-esteem. Let your child know that you will always love him/her unconditionally, no matter what happened. Give hugs say I love you often.
4. Be careful when correcting your child’s behaviour – Do not yell, criticise or blame the child in front of their friends, public spaces, not even at home. Do it calmly and give a reasonable explanation. Help the child understand their actions.
What is positive parenting? Positive parenting builds healthier relationships between parents and their children. It gives the parents the tools they need to use at the right time, is also focused on developing a strong committed bond with the children based on respect and communication. Some studies show that children with parents that care and take the parenting classes are much happier and open to talk about their problems with their parents. Being a positive parent means: To set boundaries To be responsive To care and to act To prioritise the time you spent with children Be honest Listen
Be a good role model#
And the list can continue.
If you need help with you parenting styles, let me know.
Aș vrea să traduc PARENTING dar nu avem un cuvânt care să definească acest termen din engleza. Dar sunt ferm convinsă că multi dintre voi știți la ce mă refer, dacă nu, v-om descoperii împreună.
Parenting nu este despre copii, ci în folosul copiilor.
Parenting se referă la procesul de a crește copii și de a le asigura protecția și îngrijirea necesară pentru a se dezvolta în adulți responsabili.
Cu toții știm că nu există părinții perfecți, deoarece noi, oamenii nu suntem perfecți. Dar putem crește copii care să aibă un viitor cu mai puține griji.
Părinții așa mare influența asupra copiilor încât nici nu își dau seama. Acel copil imită cam 70% din viața de familie, practic așa cum ești tu, copilul este sau va fi. Am fost martora unei scene de familie zilele trecute, in Lidl, tatal și fiul la cumpărături, mama prin apel video îi dicta tatălui ce fel de unt să cumpere, tatăl nervos țipa la mama ”de care unt vrei tu, haide spune-mi odată, de ce nu ai venit tu să îti iei”.
Copilul avea în jur de 16-17 ani ea lângă tata încercă să se uite după unt, la un moment dat tatăl furios, țipă la el ”ce stai așa și te uiți, ești un prost și tu ca măta, ce unt vrei tu că încurc circulația aici”
Este un exemplu de AȘA NU, acel copil a trecut printr-o situație jenantă creată chiar de tatăl său. Copilul avea fața posomorâtă și cumva mi s-a făcut mila de el, dacă în public tatăl reacționează așa, cum este acasă? Oare ce exemplu v-a urma copilul lui?
Este foarte benefic să avem grija la stilul nostru părintesc, cum creștem copiii.
CRINAMORPHO 