What is grace, and how we can give grace to children?
GRACE – receiving a blessing you didn’t earn and don’t deserve
I love the meaning of God’s grace- We deserved punishment but God offered us grace, mercy. He gave His son for us at the cross.
I think a parent gives the children grace after grace everyday. Just think about it (if you have a child), let’s say the child broke a vase, would you scream and punish your kid? No, instead you give forgiveness and love, using nice words with your kid. This is grace. If you want the child to have mercy and to learn the grace of God, show it to them, usually kids learn by observing, kids are very much like sponges, soaking up the experiences they have each and every day.
Here are some ideas/activities for the parents to do with their kiddos.
Teach them about the grace – Read a bible story, for example the the story of prodigal son.
Show them grace – try to understand the reasons behind the actions. Be there, the children needs parents presence, talk with them, love them unconditionally, teach them the right from bad
Talking with kids about grace is so important and wise. Just imagine when that child will grow up, he/she will offer grace to other people, they will be kind, ready to forgive, compassionate and ready to help.
I studied social work and I remember the teachers talking about the types of parenting, also recently I have done some online courses about childcare, briefly these types were mentioned.
What are they and how they are affecting the children?
Most probably if you are a parent, you can identify your style, or if you are not a parent, like me, we can identify our parents style. Parenting style has a big impact in child life.
Authoritarian– STRICT, this style is about being strict, it’s about the rules. Parents with an authoritarian style have very high expectations of their children, yet provide very little in the way of feedback. If a child does mistakes, most probably they will be punished and sometimes the authoritarian tends to abuse the child in a physical way.
characteristics of authoritarian parents:
They have little to no patience for misbehaviour. Authoritarian parents expect their children to simply know better than to engage in undesirable behaviour.
They don’t give children choices or options
They don’t express much warmth or nurturing
The children of authoritarian parents tend to exhibit these effects:
They associate obedience with love
Some children display aggressive behaviour outside.
Some children may act shy around others
Children often have lower self-esteem.
Permissive Parenting – Avoids confrontation, they wanna be friend instead of parent, they use rewards or a bribe in order to get the child to do what they wanna do. They rarely discipline their child, there are no rules to follow. Instead of setting rules, they try to prevent problems from happening, they choose to let their child to figure things out for themselves.
Characteristics of permissive parenting:
Emphasise their children’s freedom rather than responsibility
Ask their children’s opinions on major decisions
Are usually very loving towards their kids.
The children of permissive parents tend to exhibit these effects:
poor academic performance and behavioral problems.
Display more aggression and less emotional understanding
they lack motivation, discipline. Also the kids are more likely to engage in underage alcohol, smoking use.
Authoritative Parenting – This type has high standards, expectations. But is balanced with respect, warmth, encourage independence. They are responsive to the child’s emotional needs while having high standard. They might set limits, rules and are very consistent in enforcing boundaries. This Type has been shown to be the best way in treating and raising your child because it leads to the best outcomes in child like better social skills, emotional health, the kid is more secure and attached to their parents.
Characteristics of authoritative parenting:
Leads to development of a cooperative/friendly structure where the child’s spontaneous initiations is encouraged.
They encourage, support, and are sensitive to needs
Creates family unity through compassion, inclusion and respect.
Gives child plenty of affection which result in a sociably child, happy and ready to recognise peoples emotions and also to help them.
The children of authoritative parents tend to exhibit these effects:
Compassionate with others
happy, loving and caring person
Confident in abilities. Capable and involved.
Uninvolved/Neglectful parenting – This type is the most harmful of all. Unfortunately because of circumstances in their life, like divorce, drugs, poverty, or sometimes just because they chose to. Sometimes dads can have this style when they do not have a presence in their child’s life, and this can be really damaging. I am praying to God for the children with this type pf parenting.
Characteristics of neglectful parenting:
No affection or guidance given to the child
Likely a substance abuser
Lacks emotional attachment to child
Don’t attend school events and parent-teacher conference
Offer little or no supervision
Do not plan children’s education, future.
Do not care about the child needs
Usually are not interested of sending kids to extracurricular activities.
The children of neglectful/uninvolved parents tend to exhibit these effects:
Low self-esteem, self-reliant. Forced to act mature even though he/she is a child.
Depressed, sad, lonely
No emotional connection between parent and child
The have a hard time forming relationships with other people.