Keep them close by letting go

Last year I enrolled on a CPD course called Positive Parenting.
I recommend this course to anyone working with children, parents, carers, anyone who comes in contact with children.
It comes in handy now that in less than a week I will be on the road called ”parenting”

This is a lesson I read many times because I found myself and some friends caught in this ”story”.

Being too restrictive builds up resentment and can lead to rebellion- let go of them.

Helping our children make their own decisions and choices instead of telling them what to do it’s far more beneficial. Let them decide with guidance.

Of course, if a child is very young and in danger, we are not going to let them do something that would obviously be harmful, that’s why we are there to supervise, guide, teach them.

Help them develop independence, self worth and self confidence

When I was a child, my parents never taught us any self confidence or worth but a form of ”crazy” independence. Growing up I taught myself how to be confident, know my worth.

• Ask for their opinion and show you value it by acting on what they say at least some of the time.
• Encourage them to think for themselves, share opinions and options. This will help them to problem solve.
• Help them feel included and and confident to contribute. This is essential for teaching them to value their opinions, self confidence and self worth,

Like I said, if you wanna expand your knowledge, skills do this course, it’s amazing how will make you remember of your childhood, your parenting styles or your parents tyoe of parenting.

What makes you happy?

Did we forget what made us happy years ago, when we were kids!?

Let me give you one example from my childhood (there are many examples, I will try giving you one) Ice skating on the main street with my friends. We didn’t have much or been to our big city Ice Skating Ring, but I knew how to skate on our main street, where everyone was walking by, greeting and doing their Christmas shopping. Nice memories!
I still love Ice Skating!

What makes us happy as an adult living in these times?
Waking up in the morning to get to our jobs or on the salary day when are we trying to sort out the monthly spending?
Are we running after fame, money, career, diplomas, buying a big house in which we are most of the time worried about the next electricity bill (see living costs in 2022) thinking that once we have what we wished for we will be happy again?
I m not saying it’s a bad thing to have those, but let’s be honest, what makes us happy?
How can we increase our level of happiness and live a blessed and joyful life?

Take a minute and write a list of what makes you and your family happy.
A trip for 2 days?
Spending more time at your grandparent’s house?
Meeting with your old friends?
Going ice skating with your family?
Planning an exotic holiday?
Reading your bible, going to church this Sunday?
Cooking your partner’s favourite meal?
Buying the dress or shoes you wanted for a while now?
Giving a Christmas present to a family in need?
Or just having a coffee in the shopping centre?

What makes me happy is waking up early in the morning to drink my coffee. My husband gave me a good night kiss(he also gives one to my baby bump). Eating my favourite chocolate. Good news from my large family. Feeling my baby moving. Supporting my family when is needed and the list is not stopping here.

To to sum up…Enjoy the good coffee, have fun on your holiday, buy the dress– they are all good and fine and bring bright moments into our lives.

Do more of what makes you happy, and be less worried and stressed.

Be blessed!

Pregnancy journey

“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. '” — Jeremiah 29:11

May 2022 – On the pregnancy test was this word ”pregnant” It was the most shocking, not expected, blessed day so far. From May to October I have experienced what it means to grow a baby inside you, new life given by God to us.
At the beginning of my first trimester I felt sick and tired, and all the condiments from the cupboard had to be chucked aways, the smell was too strong for me. Today
The second trimester was the best so far, it’s true that I became a foodie but I am proud to have self-control over it.
I remember when I first felt my baby’s movement, such an amazing feeling that only a Mom can describe.
We are thankful for a healthy, very active baby in my womb. As I just entered my last trimester, we are excited to meet our little munchkin in 2 months time.

Mary Ainsworth | The Strange Situation

The strange situation is a standardized procedure devised by Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s to observe attachment security in children within the context of caregiver relationships. It applies to infants between the age of nine and 18 months.

The procedure involves series of eight episodes lasting approximately 3 minutes each, whereby a mother, child and stranger are introduced, separated and reunited.

John Bowlby (1969) believed that attachment was an all or nothing process. However, research has shown that there are individual differences in attachment quality. Indeed, one of the primary paradigms in attachment theory is that of the security of an individual’s attachment (Ainsworth & Bell, 1970).

Ainsworth (1970) identified three main attachment styles, secure (type B), insecure avoidant (type A) and insecure ambivalent/resistant (type C). She concluded that these attachment styles were the result of early interactions with the mother.

A fourth attachment style known as disorganized was later identified (Main, & Solomon, 1990).

Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1990). Procedures for identifying infants as disorganized/disoriented during the Ainsworth Strange Situation. In M.T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti & E.M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the Preschool Years (pp. 121–160). Chicago, University of Chicago Press.

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Inclusive Education

Inclusion in education refers to all students being able to access and gain equal opportunities to education and learning.

Inclusive education is the most effective way to give all pupils a fair chance to go to school, learn and develop the skills they need to thrive. It means real learning opportunities for groups who have traditionally been excluded, not only children with disabilities, but speakers of minority languages too.

Some of the benefits of inclusive practice include:

• Teaching pupils about diversity and equality.
• Improving, encouraging friendships between diverse children (Diversity)
• Promoting parental confidence that their children are being accepted and can be successful in the school setting.#

An estimated 240 million children worldwide live with disabilities. Like all children, children with disabilities have ambitions and dreams for their futures. Like all children, they need quality education to develop their skills and realize their full potential.

Yet, children with disabilities are often overlooked in policymaking, limiting their access to education and their ability to participate in social, economic and political life. Worldwide, these children are among the most likely to be out of school. They face persistent barriers to education stemming from discrimination, stigma and the routine failure of decision makers to incorporate disability in school services – Source UNICEF

Happy Earth Day

”The earth is what we all have in common” there is no other option, people. We are ”stuck” here so we bettter take care of our planet earth.

The first Earth Day was celebrated in 1970, when a US senator from Wisconsin organized a natonal demonstration to raise awareness about environmental issues.

More than a million species are at risk of extinction

According to some experts, we are in the midst of the planet’s sixth mass extinction, which is primarily caused by human activities.

Extinction is a natural occurrence, claiming roughly five species a day, but it’s estimated that hundreds of plant and animal species now face extinction daily.

That’s approximately 1,000 times the natural rate; by the middle of the century, 30 to 50% of all species on the planet will have vanished (www.nationalworld.com).

Climate change impacts human life

This may seem obvious, but with so much focus on the effects climate change has on habitats and the vast array of species that inhabit them, it can be easy to forget the immediate impact on human life it has too.

According to a 2018 study published in The Lancet, rising temperatures, along with an increase in the number of people living in cities and an ageing population, have resulted in a rise in heat-related mortality.

Pure Kindness

Kindness is grace.

Kindness comes from the Old English word ‘kyndnes’ meaning ‘nation’ or ‘produce, increase’. The word is further derived from the Middle English word ‘kindenes’ meaning ‘noble deeds’ or ‘courtesy’. The first recorded use of the word kindness was in the 14th century.

We are humans, and therefore, we make mistakes. We can be kind in our response to ourselves and others when those mistakes occur. This means thinking before speaking, forgiving before seeking revenge, isn’t this a verse from the bible?

Kindness is — and always will be — one of the most beautiful acts for good that exists in the entire world. But remember being kind is a choice we all make as individuals.

If you are a parent you might consider teaching your baby pure kindness from an early age. Encouraging kindness in the early grades helps children increases happiness and decreases stress. 

The book Happy Hippo and Kind Goose can be a perfect tool for your kids to understand the values of being kind, having a good friendship and happiness comes as a gift.

Purchase the book from here:

http://www.moncojbooks.com

Child neglect

If a baby is malnourished, neural cells can become weak or damaged and this can cause lowered brain function. If a child has little interaction with their caregiver, it can change how emotional and verbal pathways develop and impact their ability to learn. This may have consequences for brain functioning in later life.

Our brains develop from before birth and into adulthood

What happens in a child or young person’s life during these periods can have a significant effect on their brain development.

Positive experiences throughout childhood help to build healthy brains, while experiencing childhood trauma and abuse can harm a child’s brain development (Shonkoff et al, 2015)

Happy Hippo and Kind Goose

Happy 2022

“Kindness, kindness, kindness.

I want to make a New year’s prayer, not a resolution. I’m praying for courage.”
― Susan Sontag

I do not believe in the famous saying ”new year, new me” you know why? Oh well, because nothing can be new about us, we are still the same we were 1 day ago, on the 31st of December. 24 hours can’t make you all new.
We are getting too excited about the 1st of January, full of ideas thinking that this year will be different in a good, better way. But wait 1 minute, HOW?

Why a new year can give us a bag full of inspiration, ideas, excitement, and a new notebook to write in!?
We do forget something, planning our year with Jesus, our God. Being more Thankful, praying more often, and writing our new plans, ideas, challenge for the new year in god’s notebook.
Let’s not disappoint ourselves with our new year, new me by trying very hard and then at the end of the year to get depressed. Be wise and smart!
Start your morning with a prayer, and coffee/tea then everything will settle down.

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Children’s book

Happy Hippo and Kind Goose A book about being kind and happy at the same time. For 2-5 years olds. More info on moncojbooks.com

£5.99

Peer pressure and influences

Peer pressure or influence is when you do something you wouldn’t otherwise do, because you want to feel integrated and accepted by your ”friends”.

 Peer influence can be positive or negative.

Some teenagers might choose to try things they usually wouldn’t be interested in, like smoking or behaving in antisocial ways.

According to Dr B. J. Casey from the Weill Medical College of Cornell University, young children are quick and accurate in making judgments and decisions on their own and in situations where they have time to think. However, when they have to make decisions, mainly they are often influenced by external factors like peers. 

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Support Children’s Mental Health

1. Stress Management 

Just as adults get stressed, so do young children. However, they may not have the coping strategies yet to handle it. Children may display stress through mood swings, difficulty sleeping, bedwetting or displaying signs of feeling physically unwell such as tummy aches. They may also change their behaviour and habits, becoming more clingy or sucking their thumb. 

When you see signs that your child is stressed, it is important to communicate with them on what may be the source of the problem. Firstly, identify the triggers, then help them to build a strategy towards overcoming the issue. Let them know that it is okay to be anxious or upset, and help provide vocabulary for what they are facing as well as calming techniques. I reccomend you to use pep cards.

2. Make Time for Play/ have fun with your child/ren

Routines are a source of comfort for children, so help build and maintain routines that you can adhere to consistently. Knowing what to expect helps children to feel secure and loved, whilst reinforcing good behaviour and developing positive habits such as washing hands or brushing teeth. It also removes anxieties surrounding the unknown or change. 

3. Healthy food/habits

A nutritious and balanced diet and regular exercise are essential in maintaining your child’s physical and mental health. Introducing good eating habits when they are young will continue as they grow older, and ensures that they have had the proper fuel to support their development.

4. Develop Self-esteem 

For older children in particular, issues such as popularity may impact their wellbeing and stress levels. Therefore, it is important to help them develop self-confidence, so that they can handle change and uncertainty with ease. Make sure to praise your child, celebrating their success and progress. In addition, help them understand that failure is inevitable and often beneficial, as it can help understand what to improve. 

Attachment Theory

Attachment is characterized by specific behaviors in children, such as seeking proximity to the attachment figure when upset or threatened (Bowlby, 1969).

Stages of Attachment

Rudolph Schaffer and Peggy Emerson (1964) investigated if attachment develops through a series of stages, by studying 60 babies at monthly intervals for the first 18 months of life (this is known as a longitudinal study).

The children were all studied in their own home, and a regular pattern was identified in the development of attachment.

The babies were visited monthly for approximately one year, their interactions with their carers were observed, and carers were interviewed.

A diary was kept by the mother to examine the evidence for the development of attachment. Three measures were recorded:

• Stranger Anxiety – response to arrival of a stranger.

• Separation Anxiety – distress level when separated from carer, degree of comfort needed on return.

• Social Referencing – degree that child looks at carer to check how they should respond to something new (secure base).

Bowlby suggested that a child would initially form only one primary attachment (monotropy) and that the attachment figure acted as a secure base for exploring the world.

The attachment relationship acts as a prototype for all future social relationships so disrupting it can have severe consequences.

This theory also suggests that there is a critical period for developing an attachment (about 0 -5 years).

If an attachment has not developed during this period, then the child will suffer from irreversible developmental consequences, such as reduced intelligence and increased aggression.

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